Five Communication Tools That Saved My Marriage
by Rob Flood
The road I took to learn about communication was a tough one. The following communication tools helped transform my marriage:
- The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.
You may feel it's okay to strike at someone verbally because, "He's picking a fight with me." You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs.
- It is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching them.
A perfect time to apply this principle is when you know you are about to have a discussion about something that might lead to tension.
- The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing of the conversation is carefully chosen.
If something has occurred that I must discuss with Gina, I've learned to wait until the children are asleep. To bring it up during dinner is to invite frustration.
- Understanding can be enhanced if we measure it often throughout a conversation.
If you're not sure if your spouse is getting what you're talking about, ask, "What do you mean by that?"
- Success in communication is more likely when we invite God to be an active participant and guide.
No scenario is beyond prayer.
At one time, I was convinced that I married the wrong woman. She was convinced she married the wrong man. Now, we cannot imagine knowing, loving, or enjoying anyone more than we do each other.
Adapted from Five Communication Tools That Saved my Marriage by Rob Flood. ©2006 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.
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